The only time it is acceptable for a man to wear jorts is:

NEVER.

Don't believe me? Check the facts:

I have a very strong opinion about jorts. One of my best friends met a boyfriend in college while he was wearing jorts to an 80's night at a local bar. His nickname for their entire relationship was 'Jorts' {seriously, I can't remember his real name} and I'm fairly certain this is why the relationship ended... not because of the nickname, because he actually wore them on his body.

Ok, maybe not. But nothing good can come from jorts. No matter their length or wash, they can only be described as one thing: hideous.

Every time I see a grown man sporting the jort I get the strong urge to take a picture incognito and post it to my future website Jorts.com. Sadly for me, jorts.com is already taken. Side note: I would just like to say to whoever owns that domain, I will pay good money for it.

So back to the jorts. Did you jorts-wearers really not get the memo? This particular fashion trend is out. Along with your Birkenstocks and tucking in your t-shirt*.

Do you have an opinion about jorts? Do tell.


*Uncle Joe, if you ever read this, I'm sorry I insulted your go to outfit for every family reunion. It was all in good fun.